The Contentious Woman, Prov 21:16

We have been studying women in the Book of Proverbs.  If you have been following this series for the past few days, we have already discussed the strange woman, the adulterous woman, and the foolish woman.  Today we are going to preach on the contentious woman.  Tomorrow, as we conclude this series, we will discuss the virtuous woman, who is also gracious, wise and God-fearing.  You will notice in this study that the contentious woman can also be an angry woman and even a brawling woman.  So, we will study what Solomon said about all three of them.

The contentious woman – 21:19, Prov 27:15 – this woman is always ready to argue.  No matter which side of the discussion you take, she will contend with you.  And if you agree with her, she’ll suddenly take the other side.  She is like water torture, where they continually drip water on your face until you crack.  She doesn’t go along with her husband unless it suits her.  Otherwise, she will contest his decisions and argue with him.  Most men will do anything to keep from stirring her hornet’s nest.  They don’t agree with her, but they don’t want to argue.  That’s why Solomon said that you are better off dwelling in the wilderness than living with her.  Out there, at least, you’ll have some peace.

The angry woman – Prov 21:19 – this woman is a cauldron of anger that blows from time to time.  She has a quick temper and a short fuse.  She can be calmed down; but like a volcano, she is sure to spew again.  And when she does it is usually big.  She has little to no control over her spirit.  When she gets riled up, she gets mad and she blames you by saying, “You make me angry.”  This statement is not true.  She’s angry all the time; she doesn’t always let it show.  It’s strange how she can be so mad at you and yet, when her phone rings, be so seemingly sweet to her friend on the call.

The brawling woman – Prov 21:9 – a brawling woman is a noisy, quarrelsome, fighting woman.  There is not a house big enough for a brawling woman and her husband.  He’s better off living alone in the attic.  When he’s around, she will be picking a fight.  A perfect example of this woman is Jezebel.  She ran Elijah into the wilderness in 1 Ki 19:1-4.  He slew 450 prophets of Baal in 1 Ki 18:40 [see v. 19], but he ran from this one woman.  Sometimes, a woman can get out of kilter, like Rachel did in Gen 30:1-2.  But she regains her composure and you move on.  So, don’t get all bent out of shape over an incident.  They can happen to the best of us.  

Conclusion: if you are a contentious, angry, brawling woman, own up to it and change it.  Eph 4:30-32 shows you that you can be kind and tenderhearted.  Don’t make the people who are close to you endure this kind of behavior from you.  They don’t need it and you don’t have to keep putting them through it.