How To Be A Friend Prov 17:17 CLICK TITLE FOR AUDIO

Prov 17:17 says, “A friend loveth at all times.”  Well, there are a lot of things that can happen to a man in his lifetime and so it takes a really good friend to be able to love him at all times.  Your friend might become very ill and need you by his side, he might go through a financial crisis and need you to give him some money, he might make a dumb decision with terrible consequences and need you to support him as he recovers himself, or he might do something wonderful and need a good friend to share it with.  You never know.  The key is to be a friend and so this broadcast teaches you how to be a friend.

To be a good friend you need to:

Be yourself.  If you find that you must put on a front in order to impress the person you are attempting to befriend, you will never be a good friend.  There will always be a stiffness in your presence that will be uncomfortable to him and to you.  I have known a few of these guys that have tried too hard and I’m never comfortable around them.  Years ago, I can remember trying to be something I’m not and it just never worked.  You see this kind of thing many times in politics, pulpits and businesses.  Don’t be two-faced if you want to be a friend.  If you can’t be a friend just the way you are, you can’t be a friend.

Be candid.  That is you need to be honest.  You cannot flatter and you cannot lie.  Tell the truth all the time, even when it hurts.  If you are truthful about everything you say you can rest well at night.  If you have to fake your responses and always worry about how a thing you say is going to be viewed or received, you will never be able to build a strong friendship.  You need to be able to speak your mind candidly.

Be supportive.  One of the great things about being a friend is that you are given opportunities from time to time to encourage your friend when he is down.  Jonathan encouraged David when Saul was out to kill him.  Sometimes your friend will just need to know that he has a friend.  He has to know that he can count on you.  That knowledge alone can encourage him.  You need to bring out the best in your friend.

Be understanding.  One of the greatest things you can do for your friend is listen.  By being a good “ear” for him you allow him to pour out his heart and sort out his thoughts.  Often he will resolve his own conflicts and make up his own mind just because you cared enough to sit and listen to him sort everything out.  You probably won’t even need to speak or give counsel at times like that.  And remember your friend is not perfect.

Be trustworthy.  Relationships are built on trust.  It takes years to build the level of trust that good friends enjoy and it can take about fifteen seconds to break it.  Your mind and mouth should be like a vault so that your friend can confide in you and know for sure that you will never repeat what he has said.  Never divulge information that you receive in confidence.  And never double-cross your friend.  He should be able to count on you better than he can count on himself.

Be steadfast.  Good friendships are going to be tested.  You are going to eventually go through something hard with your friend.  There will be some misunderstanding, some strain in the friendship.  And you must make it through the rough spot.  You will find the test to be an occasion that strengthens your friendship.  But at the time the trial may appear to be sent to destroy it.  Don’t forsake a good friend in times of testing.  Grow closer.  You’re going to need each other on another day.

Be lighthearted.  Relax and don’t take yourself so seriously.  In good friendships there is a lot of bantering.  Learn to take it and laugh at yourself.  Friends that are close know each other well enough to kid around and never get their feelings hurt.  It’s hard to be friends with an overly sensitive person because the other person is always worried about saying something that might offend.  You cannot be easily offended and ever hope to be a good friend.  You need to lighten up.

Be there.  I can remember sitting for several hours with a pastor friend who was grieving over the death of a close missionary’s daughter.  I never said a word.  I didn’t have to.  Just being there with him right after he received the news of her death was enough.  Listen, there is nothing like being in the same room with a friend when he needs someone to be there.  The idea that you can do everything with a phone and a computer these days is ludicrous.  How much more effective you would be with your neighbors if you would go see them and spend some time with them.  As the saying goes, you have to “be there” for your friends.

Conclusion: These are a few pointers on how to be a good friend.  If you will concentrate some effort on being a good friend you will have some good friends.