When Your Children Go Astray, Prov 10:1



This sermon is how to move on when you have a child who is a fool, on a path of destruction, running from God, doing abominable things, and so forth. 

Feel the pain – It’s going to hurt.  Prov 10:1, A foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. Prov 17:21, he that begetteth a fool doeth it to his sorrow: and the father of a fool hath no joy.  Prov 17:25, A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him.  And there is nothing you can do that will get rid of this weight and pain.  You’re wasting your time to try.  You keep thinking that you can fix it and make the pain go away.  You can’t.  It’s like falling off a horse with your foot caught in the stirrup.  The longer you go the more torn up you get.

Don’t blame yourself – Prov 13:1 – A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.  You can’t make a scorner obey; he’s not even listening to your rebuke.  Prov 14:14 The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways.  He’s not filled with ways that you taught him.  He’s not going in the way that you trained him.  He’s a backslider and so he is being filled with HIS OWN ways.  Prov 27:22 Though thou shouldest bray a fool in a mortar among wheat with a pestle, yet will not his foolishness depart from him.  How can you truly blame yourself for that?

Believe the truth – Prov 15:20 – a foolish man despiseth his mother.  Your child may say he loves you; the reality is he despises you.  You see him as he was (my little boy) or as he could be (he has so much potential); you don’t see him as he really is.  He’s a mess.  And he or she is going to reap for it.  Prov 30:17, the eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.  This is the truth.  Prov 13:8 poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction.  This is the truth and you’re trying to stop this truth by intervening.  You’re only making it worse.  Prov 9:7-8, He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot.  Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee…”. This is the truth and you need to believe it.

Follow wise counsel – Prov 15:22 without counsel purposes are disappointed.  Prov 20:18 Every purpose is established by counsel.   You need strong people in your life who can counsel you without getting emotionally involved.  You must trust that God will use them to provide you with counsel that will protect you and help you to make sound decisions regarding your involvement with a wayward child.  You don’t need a person on whom you can dump all your grief so that you can go another round with your child.  You need wise counsel and you need to follow that counsel.

Relinquish control – Deut 21:18-21 – there comes a time when you “lay hold on him, and bring him out,” v.19.  You need to let go.  Otherwise you’ll get drug into their life and they will take you down and other relationships in your life will go down with you.

To relinquish is to voluntarily yield control and possession of.  It’s okay to do that.  He’s no longer your responsibility.  Spending less time with him, the less influence you have.  But God can still influence him.  With you out of the way God can work in your child’s life without distraction and with your child out of your way God can work in your life without distraction.  You have to let go of how you thought it could have been.  These children are God’s after all.

Stay close to God – Jas 4:8 – Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you.  Dealing with a wayward child draws your heart away from God.  Letting go of your child so you can get close to God feels like a loss of opportunity to influence, protect, and talk with  your child.  You don’t have to experience loss.  Relinquishing responsibility and control is very different.  You have to come to the realization that your child doesn’t need you; he needs the Lord.  God will let you know when he wants you to do something for your child or say something to him.  Praying for your child is your greatest opportunity to have an influence in his life.  Jer 32:17 there is nothing too hard for the Lord.

Conclusion: As hard as this may seem, you need to follow these six things.  They will help you.  Furthermore, if you are a child, you need to seriously consider what you’ve heard tonight.  If you even have one thought about going astray, forsake that thought tonight.  Don’t put your parents through this hell on earth.  You will never understand the torment you’re putting them through until your own children do the same thing to you.  And then it will be too late for you to make it up to your parents.  By then, they may already be in the grave.