A Prodigal in the Family

There are some profound truths to learn from studying the family members in the story of the prodigal.  We call this A Prodigal in the Family.

The Younger Son

There’s a saying… Sin will take you further than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay.

This younger son was day dreaming about the far country long before he left.  He wanted out of the house and into the country.  When a young person is of this mind, he is going to find a way to get out.  “Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right”, Prov 20:11.

Listen to the son’s request, “Give me”.  He wanted the portion of goods “that falleth to me”.  He was like those who are “lovers of their own selves… and lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God”.  Life is all about them.

As soon as they can bolt, they’ll go.  “Not many days after” receiving the goods, he was gone.  “He that hasteth with his feet sinneth”, Prov 19:2.

He wasted his substance with riotous living.  The father had worked hard to produce this wealth that his son squandered.  Dads generally want to shame their children who do this.  This father didn’t.

If you could have seen this boy in the famine, in the sad condition of feeding swine and wanting to eat the husks, you would have wept.  This was tragic.

Further than he wanted to go – far country.  Longer than he wanted to stay – no friends left, feeding swine.  More than he wanted to pay – spent all.

But he came to himself.  This is what sinners desperately need.  If he had come to himself by believing the words of God while he was day dreaming about the far country he wouldn’t have left home.  But it took this hard fall to come to himself.  And if they’re ever going to turn, they have to hit bottom.

This is where he realized that he needed to repent and change.  He admitted that he had sinned against heaven and before his father.  He mentioned heaven first.  That’s because he had a “God problem”!!  A prodigal in the family needs to understand that there’s is not a family problem as much as it is a God problem.

When you get right, humility is the key.  This young man was willing to be as a hired servant rather than a son.  People who have begun to change without humility, are still what they were before they left home.  They’ve just become a little more clever about living life in the far country.

Sinners must humble themselves.  Without this humility there’s going to be more trouble.  Humility is necessary for a changed life and it’s the evidence of a changed life.

The Father

I don’t think the father was surprised that his son left after he divided unto them his living.  You might be thinking, he should have never given him the goods.  Well, most families end up paying again and again and again to bail their prodigals out.  This father gave once and cut him loose.

The father let him go.  You might think he wasn’t a good father to have raised a son like this.  God didn’t resign from being God when his kids, Adam and Eve, messed up, and when one of his grandkids murdered his brother (Cain and Abel).  You must remember who is responsible for sin.  The sinners are… they make the choices.

This father didn’t chase after his son or check up on him.  We often run our children further away by chasing after them.  It’s easier on parents when wayward kids are in the far country instead of right under your nose.  Dad, it’s not something you can fix.  This is a problem with them and one that God must fix.

When they’re in sin, you’re always worried that the prodigal in the family might die.  But the father didn’t seem to worry about that.  You can kill yourself trying to keep them alive.  Sin is a killer, don’t forget.  And this young man went through hell on his way to the bottom.  Don’t let your prodigal take you through hell with them.

“No man gave unto him”, v.16.  There are people who come to the rescue when a wayward child starts to suffer.  Family mostly.  His father didn’t come to his rescue.  He must have realized that a man has to hit hard when he falls.  It does him no good for others to cushion the blow.

Parents must remain ready for the day when your prayers are answered and they finally get it right.  When he was a great way off his father saw him.  He had, no doubt, been looking and praying everyday.

The father had compassion on his son.  He didn’t go through that shame, guilt, anger, and pity stuff.  Instead, he put on his son the best robe, a ring, and shoes.  And he killed the fatted calf to celebrate the day of his full repentance.

It’s not helpful to throw these parties along the way while the boy is recovering from bad falls.  Wait till they hit the bottom and turn completely.

The father waited till his dead son was alive again.  He was lost and now found.  That’s what he needed and what you should be looking for.  It’s not about him getting right with you.  It’s about him getting right with God.  Then he can get right with you!

The Elder Son

He was angry, v.28.  Siblings can’t stand a prodigal in the family.  They’re more likely to be angry when you come home.  They had things working pretty well without you around and all your chaos.  They’re not going to be excited like dad.

You can expect resentment.  The bad boy got the party.  His brother didn’t understand his father’s heart.  So, he felt slighted.

His father reminded him, “Thou art ever with me.  All that I have is thine”.  Make sure the ones who are doing right understand this.  And don’t reward bad behavior.  Did you notice that the father didn’t put the prodigal back in the will?  He spent his inheritance.

Siblings need to understand that doing right is the right thing to do and they don’t need to be rewarded for it, v.29.  The trouble is that siblings can kill themselves working extra hard for your attention to compete with all the attention you’re giving to the prodigal.  Don’t encourage this in them.

Conclusion: if you are prodigal, you have sinned against heaven.  Till you get this, you are still not right.  You need to repent and turn to God.  You’re not worthy to be a son.  Humility is the key and the evidence.  Can others still hear pride in your voice?

If you are parent, God has to fix this, and you need to let go until he does.  Don’t keep footing the bill.  Don’t keep having little celebrations after their hangovers.  Wait till they have turned to God and God has turned them around.

If you are a sibling, don’t feel like you have to vie for attention.  Just do the right thing and pray for your sibling to get right with God.  You don’t understand your parents’ heart.  Keep yourself ready to welcome them back when they finally get right with God.  Mind your own business till then.