Recap from last week of what God created marriage to be. First of all it is changing your relationship PRIORITIES. You’re moving from mom and dad to husband and wife. God said it this way, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother. Mom and Dad were the first most important relationship you have and marriage moves from that relationship as a priority to your spouse as your priority.
Secondly, marriage is a PURSUIT. I don’t mean a husband chasing his wife around the house or a wife chasing her husband out of the house. Pursuit meaning that marriage is accomplished on purpose; it requires diligence and obedience to God’s word. God said it this way that man shall cleave unto his wife. That means the feelings you had in the romance season of your marriage will fade and you will have to learn to love your wife and wives will have to learn to reverence their husbands. It will require effort and it must be done on purpose.
The third and final part of Genesis 2:24 where God defines marriage is the POSSESSION; it is a joining together, mutual POSSESSION. The Lord Jesus Christ concluded his answer to the Pharisees in Matthew 19:6 with, What therefore God hath joined together (man & woman), let not man put asunder.
…and they two shall be one flesh.
- Marriage is literally joining together, everything is shared
- 1 Corinthians 7:2-4 sharing bodies to bank accounts, feelings to failures
- Matthew 19:3-9 – two joined together in all things
- You give of yourself to your spouse
- What is God’s design in joining a man and woman together? Three things:
- Fellowship – intimacy & companionship with your spouse, Genesis 2:18, 2 Samuel 12:24 – two are stronger than one – understand your contribution and your role in the marriage and be complimented by your spouse
- Fruitfulness – Though God can create without two parties involved He has designed people to be fruitful in a marriage, heirs together of the grace of life – John 15:5 – a fruitful relationship
- Illustration of God and His people, Christ and the Church, Ephesians 5:31-32
- Song of Solomon
- When one spouse chooses not to share it will create resentment in the relationship – Three areas this really shows up:
- Dominance – when one spouse makes some aspect of the marriage competitive by picking something like finances or time with children and comparing to the other. SOLUTION – You compliment your spouse and that’s the way God made it; so the differences are strengths, not weaknesses. Quit being so insecure!
- Independence and selfishness – marriage is brutal on selfish people – problems associated with the childish “I wants” are multiplied when you bring a spouse and children into your childish world. SOLUTION – It is more blessed to give than to receive
- Protectiveness – sometimes a spouse will protect certain assets for what they believe are good reasons. Remarried mother with children fails to trust her husband is an example. Husbands and wives separating finances in order to protect themselves. SOLUTION – Protection is not a solution, it’s a defense. You’re married, you’re not at war! – Use your diversity of gifts to your advantage and trust your spouse in the exercising of their gifts. Allow yourself to be complemented by your spouse
- Four reasons sharing works
- Sharing communicates value
- Sharing prevents jealousy
- Sharing enables intimacy
- Sharing teaches selflessness