God has established laws that govern without respect of persons. The law of gravity is a law without regard for who it affects. If a person decides to jump out of a building they will fall. If the President of the United States decides to jump out of a building he will fall. When God created the relationship of marriage He laid down three foundations on which He would build.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother
Marriage is changing relational priorities. A healthy marriage is one in which marriage is the priority over mom and dad. We’ve all laughed at the in-law, out-law jokes, and truly stress is placed on the marriage when there is not a clear relational change.
- Most important relationship is with mom and dad until marriage – marriage will not work if it falls in priority: Work, Sports, TV Shows, Hobbies, Fishing, Golf, Football, whatever you put in its place will weaken this foundation
- Marriage loses priority for one of two reasons; neglect or retreat – Neglect from business, work, and just stuff – Retreat occurs when there is something between husband and wife and one or both parties begin to retreat from the relationship.
- 4 Ways to Communicate Priority:
- Sacrifice – that is putting your own feelings or needs behind your spouses – sacrifice is defined by what it costs
- Time – Time is the commodity of relationships
- Energy – devote energy to the relationship – actively participate. Marriage is not a spectator sport and when one party becomes a spectator the marriage has begun to fail
- Attitude – positive and affirming. Spouse should be best friend. Esteeming one another
- Keeping marriage a priority:
- Date nights
- make much of your mutual interests
- take an interest in the other’s interests
and shall cleave unto his wife
Marriages don’t work by accident, they require attention and commitment. These are some misconceptions about love and romance.
- If I married the right person, then the emotions should automatically follow forever.
- If my emotions toward my spouse have changed, then I must have married the wrong person. Between 2-7 years of marriage the devil will really push this. When reality begins to set in and then when the marriage begins to decline.
- Gifts should last. Guys are particularly good at this point system. Follow the manna principle: what you gather today is good for today.
- Marriage is the basis for love, not love that love is the basis for marriage. A worldly reason for divorce: “We don’t love each other anymore” See Hosea 2:19-20. You and your spouse love each other more and differently than when you got married because love will grow.