It Takes Two Amos 3: 3 CLICK TITLE FOR AUDIO
It Takes Two
(Many marriages are trying to walk together, and are NOT agreed)
Last week, Pastor taught us that the main thing to remember in a marriage is “just do your part”. We learned of many things that each one of us need to do regardless of what our spouse does. In [1 Peter 3:1-7], we clearly see a context of things that husbands, and wives should do, all of which have no dependence on the other spouse’s behavior. Peter, in verse 8, finishes the context by starting the verse with “finally, be ye of one mind…”, it takes two. Today we will look at things that take both of you to accomplish.
Can You Two Agree on:
Commitment – “be ye of one mind” (Marriage is a journey, not a destination) Do you both agree on where you are headed, so you can enjoy the trip? In Acts, the disciples were of “one accord” meaning in agreement or had harmony of minds.
- [Gen.2:24] “be one flesh”, one flesh with two heads is a monster.
- [Matt.19:5-6] “What therefore God hath joined together”
- To leave and cleave is commitment, “till death do you part”
- Illustration, “point of no return”, Julius Caesar after landing on the shores of Britain, burned the ships that had brought his army. He had them look at the burning ships, and at that point they had nothing else to do but fight and win. That’s commitment.
- Commitment to God
- The reason both must be saved, not “unequally yoked” [2 Cor.6:14], both should take the Lord’s yoke, [Matt.11:28-30]
- The picture of a triangle with God at the top, spouses at the lower corners, as each spouse gets closer to God they get closer together.
- Both parties should easily agree to be committed to God and have a marriage that glorifies God, if not, what are you doing?
- Commitment to each other
- Honesty – always, always, always truthful [Prov.26:28]
- Loyalty – nothing is ever put between you and your spouse, job, hobby, kids
- Trustworthy – never ever give them a reason not to totally trust you
Compassion – “having compassion one of another”, not “one for another”, meaning each of you need the compassion of the other. Does your spouse have your compassion? Once again it takes two.
- Illustration: “men and women comparison” Women are honest, loyal, and trustworthy. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power. But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point. Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable. Women come in all sizes, in all color and shapes. They live in homes, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run and even text you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a women is what makes the world spin! Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to the people you come in contact with. Men are good at lifting heavy stuff and sometimes killing spiders. No doubt that women are far better at compassion than men.
- Today lust is confused with love, and many marriages are founded on Lust, and compassion is nowhere to be found.
- Compassion is a mixed passion, compounded of love and sorrow (as the verse says, love as brethren [Rom.12:10], be pitiful, when someone hurts my wife, I have much sorrow)
- [Ps.78:38] an example of God’s compassion, forgave and destroyed them not
- [Heb.4:15] “touched with the feeling of our infirmities”, God completely understands the things that we go through and the weaknesses we have, so he has compassion for us.
- We, knowing each other’s faults and weaknesses, we need to have compassion in our marriages. Husband, do you understand how your wife feels when she is at home dealing with the children and you are fishing? Oh, if we could walk a mile in our spouse’s shoes?
- Compassion says that I love you no matter what! For better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Sunshine or Rain.
- Illustration, “Unconditional” You don’t hear much about Robert De Vincenzo, the tough Argentine golfer, and he may not be the world’s greatest, but he is all man, all the way. Not so long ago, he surprised everybody by winning a tournament, and they gave him his check on the eighteenth green. He flashed a smile for the flash bulbs and walked alone to the clubhouse. In back, where he was parked, a sad-eyed young lady walked up to him. “It’s a good day for you” she said, “but I have a baby with an incurable disease. It’s of the blood, and the doctors say she will die.” De Vincenzo paused. In slow English, he said “May I help your little girl?” The woman’s face froze. He took out a pen, endorsed his winning check, and pressed it into her hand. “Make some good days for the baby”, he said. He accepted all the congratulatory handshakes soberly and said nothing. A week later, he was having lunch in a country club when a PGA official approached. “Some of the boys in the parking lot told me you met a young woman after you won the tournament”, he said. De Vincenzo nodded. “Well”, said the official, “I have news for you. She’s a phony. She has no sick baby. She’s not eve married. She fleeced you, my friend”. The golfer looked up. “You mean that there is no sick baby who is dying without hope?” he said. The PGA official said, “Right.” De Vincenzo grinned, “That’s the best news I’ve heard all week,” he said.
- Agreement for “having compassion one of another”, it takes two.
Courtesy – “be courteous”, Courtesy is a choice, it’s something that you must choose to do. Thanking someone for a good deed done unto you is being courteous. Courtesy is the foundation of cooperation. Do you always react courteously to problems that arise in your marriage?
- “not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing” [Prov.15:1] “a soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” [Gal.5:15] personal attacks.
- Brother Thompson once said “women tend to first get historical, then hysterical”
- You have a choice how you react to things, there needs to be an environment that allows truthful conversation. (at church business meetings – code of conduct)
- Verbal, what comes out of your mouth, and sometimes you wish you could take it back.
- Non-verbal, can you “read” your spouse? your actions, roll your eyes, every man knows when he gets “the look” from his wife, the silent treatment, or withholding affection.
- Agree on these courtesies:
- Agree that neither one of you can read minds, especially each other’s.
- Agree to allow each other to vent, and listen first, [Prov.18:13] [James 1:19]
- Agree to edify each other, build them up, [Eph.4:29]
Verse 9 ends with, “knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing”. Marriage is designed by God to be a blessing, not a curse. In all the lessons up to this point we have continually showed you what God’s design for marriage is. If you choose to do it God’s way, ye shall inherit a blessing. Maybe today both of you ought to get with God and agree to the same commitment, agree to have compassion, and courtesy in your marriage. It takes two.