When Jesus ascended into heaven the Holy Spirit came to baptize believers into the body of Christ. As Eve was in Adam’s body before she became his bride, so the church is in Christ’s body until we are brought forth to be his bride. Thus, they are called the first man Adam and the last Adam in 1 Cor 15:45.
In Eph 5:23-27, Jesus’ bride is sanctified, cleansed, glorious, not having spot or wrinkle, holy and without blemish. In Rev 19:7-8 her fine linen, which is the righteousness of saints, is clean and white. In 2 Cor 11:2, Paul espoused the church to Jesus that he might present us as a chase virgin to Christ. In Col 1:21-22, the Lord wants to present us holy, unblameable, and unreproveable in his sight.
Our marriages are supposed to mirror the marriage between Jesus and the church. Thus, we are to be clean, sanctified, and holy. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Wives are to submit to their husbands like the church is in subjection to Jesus Christ.
Many of us came to Christ when we were older. Some of us were already married when we were saved, or when we came back to the Lord. Our lives were a mess. And the Lord has cleaned us up and continues to sanctify us. We don’t look anything like we once looked. Our marriages don’t look anything like they looked before we got on board with the Lord. We love our wives, our wives are in subjection to us, our children are obedient. We aren’t sinless but by God’s grace we are much, much better than we were.
But many of our children haven’t caught on. They are going down the wrong path when it comes to relationships. They are not clean, they are not holy, and they are not sanctified. They are not unblameable. It would be a mockery to dress some of them in fine linen white and clean. Bad things are going on in here. Bad things going on out there are on public display; they are on social media. And some are dissimulating. They pretend to be one thing in here and they are something completely different out there.
Why is this? There are myriad reasons. Here are a few.
Gen 34:1-3. Boy sees girl, they lie together, and they call it love. The family is torn up over it, Gen 34:25. But they let it go on, Gen 34:26 [Dinah was still living with Shechem]. Children, you cannot even imagine how much your behavior tears up your family. I have consoled many parents over their children’s disobedience. I have grieved over my own children.
Jud 14:1-3. Boy sees girl. Demands his parents to comply with his desire. They raise an objection. In the end, the boy wins and gets the girl. In Jud 14:4 you say, but “It was of the Lord.” Do you really want your child’s life and marriage to turn out like Samson’s?
1 Sam 2:22-25. You tell your children not to do it and they do it anyway. They won’t listen to you. But the trouble with Eli is that he left his sons in the ministry, 1 Sam 3:13. They should have been gone. Look at 1 Cor 5:5-7, 9-11. This fornication was commonly reported. Many times you know about their fornication and we don’t. You cover for them. Either way, we cannot let them keep doing this in the church. They have to go.
Then, of course, there’s the case with Amnon and Tamar. There’s the case with David and Bathsheba. And so forth.
How to prevent it.
To the unmarried. According to 1 Cor 7:1-2, keep your hands off of each other. 1 Cor 6:13-18 shows you what happens to the body with fornication. 1 Thes 4:3-6 abstaining from fornication is the will of God. You must know how to possess your vessel. 2 Tim 3:21-22 you are to be a vessel unto honour, meet for the master’s use; flee lusts. 1 Tim 4:12 you are to be an example of purity.
To the parents. Your children need your help to stay strong; they don’t need you to enable them. The temptations are going to be fierce. My friend and his daughter exchanged a purity heart and key. Her husband received the father’s heart and key at the wedding. His daughter’s first kiss from her husband was at the altar after their vows.
I won’t marry them if they are under 21 years old because they lack maturity. So, why do you want them to start dating when they are 16, 17, or 18 years old? Say “no.” You cannot be afraid of your children. And you cannot be afraid for your children. We have gone from helicopter parents hovering over their children to bulldozer parents blazing the trail for them.
Base your training and decisions on the words of God and on Bible principle. Search the scriptures. And be on the same page with your spouse. Mom and Dad are usually not in agreement, particularly in a remarriage. And the kids exploit the chasm between them.
Conclusion: You need to know where we stand and why we stand there. We are in the Bible. We can’t assume that you understand where we are. We cannot pretend that these problems are not here. And that’s the state of the union. Our marriage to the Lord is suffering because of the unholy relationships being created among our members and children.