Men Preparing for Marriage, Part II Prov. 12:2 CLICK TITLE FOR AUDIO
Whether you are a man preparing for marriage or whether you are already married, this lesson will do you some good. Men don’t often think about preparing for marriage; they think about the woman they are going to marry. You will be much happier if you prepare yourself before you find your spouse than if you try to figure it out after you are married. Men preparing for marriage need to:
Be manly – Prov 12:2 “a good man obtaineth favor of the Lord.” In Acts 11:24 we see that Barnabas was “a good man, and full of the Holy Ghost and of faith.” Today there are many sissies in church because Christianity is soft and more about feelings than it is about truth. Be a man. A good woman deserves a man with a backbone. She’ll be extremely insecure if your backbone is no firmer than a noodle. When a woman is insecure she will try to take control.
Develop friendships with good men – Prov 13:20 – most of the problems that young men have with young women stem from friendships with bad young women and bad young men. If you run with the wrong crowd, they will chide you and persuade you to do the wrong things. Likewise, the converse is true. If you run with the right crowd, you are much more likely to do the right things.
Follow the example of men in successful marriages – Phil 4:9 – ask the men who have been married to the same woman for at least twenty five or thirty years how they did it. Listen carefully and do those things. You will generally find that these men are stable, sober, compassionate, friendly, secure, humble, and good natured; they are good listeners and good leaders; they are not harsh and they are not cruel; they are honorable and trustworthy.
Study and develop leadership characteristics – Gen 3:16, about husbands and wives, God said, “he shall rule over thee.” In 1 Cor 11:3, “the head of the woman is the man.” How can you expect a woman to follow you if you cannot rule. A preacher said, “a man will either rule his house or he’ll wreck it.” So, you have to learn how to lead. And the first step to leading is following your proper authority, Jesus Christ. His authority is expressed in the words of God. You will never be over the person who is under you until you get under the person who is over you.
Prepare financially – 2 Thes 3:7-10, Prov 24:27 – you have to be able to pay the bills without straining your marriage. It’s too easy to crave the companionship of a bride so much that you neglect to be responsible about the future of your family. Learn to work, learn to budget and learn to live within your means.
Study spiritual qualities in virtuous women – Prov 31:10-31; Tit 2:3-5 – a man once told me what his mother told him about marrying the right woman. She said, “Don’t you marry no woman what you loves … you marry a woman who gonna prove she love you.” Now you may fault her grammar but you can’t fault her wisdom. That is sound wisdom. She explained that a man is prone to fall in love with the first woman he sees who’ll “look back at him.” Forget about her physical qualities for a minute and check out her character and her spiritual qualities to see if they match the qualities of a virtuous woman. Remember that “beauty is vain… a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” I’ll guarantee you this, if she’s virtuous she won’t let you start a physical relationship with her until you two are married.
Honor the women who are in your life – 1 Pet 3:7 – a man is to give honor unto his wife. So, learn the proper honor and respect for the women who are in your life. Honor your mother. Treat your sisters with honor. Treat your aunts and grandmothers and personal friends with honor and respect. That way when you marry, you will know how to honor your wife. Too many men treat their wives with less honor than they do their dogs.
Pray for the right woman – Prov 18:22; 19:14 – “a prudent wife is from the Lord.” God can direct you to the woman he wants you to have but you would be wise to start praying now for the discernment to know who she is when she shows up. A friend of mine prayed for years for a wife and when visiting a church he identified her. Shortly thereafter they married. And they have been married now for over 40 years, with wonderful children and grandchildren faithfully serving the Lord.
Conclusion: Men need to be prepared for marriage and you can’t be without preparing for marriage. Follow these words of counsel and scripture and may the Lord bless you when you find a good wife [Prov 18:22].