Living Together Gen. 34:1-4 CLICK TITLE FOR AUDIO
Dinah and Shechem ended up living together in Gen 34. There are problems with living together. Living together:
Causes problems with the Lord God – this is sin. Living together is contrary to the type of Jesus and the church in Eph 5:22-32. Whether you intended to become one flesh or not, fornication creates one flesh, Gen 2:24, 1 Cor 6:13-17. Contrast 1 Cor 6:13-17 with Heb 13:4.
Causes problems with the Husband’s Authority – 1 Cor 11:3 shows you that the husband is the head of the wife [Gen 3:16, 1 Pet 3:1-6, Eph 5:22-25]. When living together the man generally has no headship. There is an improper balance of authority. There is an abrogation of responsibility. The woman is less likely to obey if she had equal authority before the marriage [Tit 2:4-5].
Causes problems with the Couple’s Commitment – 1 Cor 7:10-11 – there is no commitment. They think, “We’ll live together till we see how it’s going to work out.” Then they have both fornicated. t makes it very easy to bail out and step into the next relationship.
Causes problems with the Couple’s Lust – Selfishness and impetuosity are usually at the root of the decision to live together. You get into this arrangement more for what you can get out of it than for what you can give to it. If you are going to give all of yourself to your loved one, you are going to want a commitment. That’s why they are called wedding “vows.” Often when the couple marries there is a strain on the relationship that wasn’t there before and then they get divorced; less sex; more responsibility. It feels suddenly like a trap and the way to handle traps is to escape. Cuddle time relieves the stress of problems that end up not getting addressed. You need to address these before marriage and without the benefit of the bed so that they aren’t problems in the marriage later. Thus, courtship is far better. Also, people who live together are more prone, I believe, to commit adultery later.
Causes problems with the Couple’s Convenience – the right things and the things of God are often inconvenient. When two people move in together they now only have one rent and one set of bills as opposed to two. That’s convenient. Of course, it wouldn’t be that way if one of you still lived at home. Financial pressures often tempt people who are dating to combine everything under one roof.
Causes problems with the Couple’s Testimony – 1 Thes 5:22 – living together is of the flesh; it is not of God. It is an immoral appearance of evil. It sets a bad example. Even the world recognizes that there is something “wrong” with this arrangement. They call it “shackin’ up.” It raises questions concerning your salvation. You’ve taken a short cut and everyone else knows it.
Causes problems with the Couple’s Families – your parents know that your “partner” may end up being their in-law, so they generally go soft on their disapproval. But the truth is that families often don’t like this arrangement at all. There is often an avoidance of family when living together because of the perceived disapproval. That’s a sad consequence because family involvement in the developing relationship is a joy and a major help in contributing helpful counsel to the couple.
Conclusion: If you aren’t living with your boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t. If you are then you either need to get married or move out. Learn to be content with the Lord Jesus Christ and learn to wait until you are married before developing the physical part of your relationship.