How to Deal with Backstabbing Prov. 11:9 CLICK TITLE FOR AUDIO
This is a tremendous verse of scripture with very practical implications for the believer – it tells you just how to handle bad press – and if you live a while as a Christian you are going to certainly get it in the back and sometimes the culprit is going to be a very close personal associate or friend – and you are going to need to know how to deal with it – you may be going through something like this right now – so here’s what to do:
You have to honestly determine whether what is being said about you is true – the Bible says, “shall the just be delivered” – so often when we hear bad stuff about ourselves, we want to deny what’s being said about us because it is so derogatory – you have to get through those feelings of self-defense and face the facts – that can be hard to do – well if it is the truth then you can’t say a word against it – the truth is the person telling it should keep it to themselves or deal with you face to face Matt 18:15; Prov 25:9 – and if they deal with you face to face, you should repent and go on Lk 17:3 – but people usually have a hard time doing the confrontational thing.
You cannot retaliate though they are wrong to spread the gossip – every fiber in your body will want to attack them for the way they are trashing you – you cannot go there – two things will happen – one, the war will escalate Gal 5:15 and you will regret the outcome – you will be devoured right along with the person you are trying to devour Prov 17:14 – two, the more you retaliate the more people are going to believe what they heard about you – you will fuel the fire causing the bad news to stay out there longer and be more firmly implanted in the minds of others – there is a natural tendency in people to believe gossip and then sort of lose interest in it when the next big thing surfaces – after a while they aren’t compelled to believe it so much – it’s like “so what” – the right attitude is God’s attitude Matt 5:43-44 – you should love them but you don’t have to trust them according to Bob Jones, Sr – Prov 25:10
Realize that when they vehemently criticize an area of your life, they are guilty of the same thing – they are hypocrites – a thief thinks someone is stealing from him because he thinks everyone else is a thief just like himself – a liar thinks others are lying to him because he thinks everyone else is a liar just like he is – they criticize in others the things that they see in themselves – it’ll help you to realize why they are so mad at you – they’re mad at themselves and they won’t admit it.
Get used to the fact that they are trying to destroy you – “destroyeth his neighbor” – 1 Jn 3:15a – therefore you have to be as firm as granite and trust the Lord to preserve you through their attacks – Ps 56:11 – you cannot worry about it – you must let God handle it – Prov 24:17-18.
Realize that if you wait out the attack, eventually the truth will surface and you will be exonerated – “through knowledge shall the just be delivered” – the truth came out about Jesus, Paul, Jeremiah, Joseph and so forth – 1 Pet 2:19-23 tells you about suffering wrongfully.
Live your life in such a way, from now on, that they can’t find bad stuff to say about you – 1 Pet 4:15; 1 Pet 2:15
If you have a tendency to be the one spreading this stuff, remember Prov 19:11 “it is a man’s glory to pass over a transgression.”