Living Together Gen. 34:1-4 CLICK TITLE FOR AUDIO
Dinah and Shechem ended up living together in Gen 34. There are problems with living together. Living together causes problems with:
The Lord God – this is sin – living together destroys the type of Jesus and the church in Eph 5:22-32 – whether you intended to become one or not, fornication creates one flesh, Gen 2:24, 1 Cor 6:13-17 – contrast 1 Cor 6:13-17 with Heb 13:4.
The Husband’s Authority – 1 Cor 11:3 shows you that the husband is the head of the wife [Gen 3:16, 1 Pet 3:1-6, Eph 5:22-25] – in living together the man generally has no headship – there is an improper balance of authority – there is an abrogation of responsibility – the woman is less likely to obey if she had equal authority before the marriage [Tit 2:4-5].
The Couple’s Commitment – 1 Cor 7:10-11 – there is no commitment – we’ll live together till we see how it’s going to work out – then they have both fornicated – it makes it very easy to bail out of the next relationship too.
The Couple’s Lust – Selfishness and impetuosity are usually at the root of the decision to live together – you get into this arrangement more for what you can get out of it than for what you can give to it – if you are going to give all of yourself to your loved one, you are going to want a commitment – that’s why they are called wedding “vows” – often when the couple marries there is a strain on the relationship that wasn’t there before and then they get divorced – less sex; more responsibility – feels suddenly like a trap and the way to handle traps is to escape – cuddle time relieves the stress of problems that end up not getting addressed – you need to address these before marriage and without the benefit of the bed so that they aren’t problems in the marriage later – thus courtship is far better – also, people who live together are more prone, I believe, to commit adultery later.
The Couple’s Inconvenience – the right things and the things of God are often inconvenient – when two people move in together they now only have one rent and one set of bills as opposed to two – that’s convenient – of course, it wouldn’t be that way if one of you still lived at home – financial pressures often tempt people who are dating to combine everything under one roof.
The Couple’s Testimony – 1 Thes 5:22 – living together is of the flesh; it is not of God – it is immoral [appearance of evil] – it sets a bad example – even the world recognizes that there is something “wrong” with this arrangement – they call it “shackin’ up” – it raises questions concerning your salvation – you’ve taken a short cut and everyone else knows it.
The Couple’s Families – your parents know that your “partner” may end up being their in-law, so they generally go soft on their disapproval – but the truth is that families often don’t like this arrangement at all – there is often an avoidance of family when living together because of the perceived disapproval – that’s a sad consequence because family involvement in the developing relationship is a joy and a major help in contributing helpful counsel to the couple.
Conclusion: If you aren’t living with your boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t – if you are then you either need to get married or move out – learn to be content with the Lord Jesus Christ and learn to wait until you are married before developing the physical part of your relationship.